Living in the USA after living in Haiti & what not to ask me

After a few months in Haiti, I have returned back to the land of plenty. After a week here, I struggle. I apologize in advance for making you mad. Kind of.

This post will make you mad if:
* you have never been outside the states
* if you have done a poverty tour vacation (AKA: short term mission trip)
* you went on a mission trip to a poverty stricken country and came back feeling good
* you have been to Haiti and know more now about how to fix it than when you left
* your FB is loaded with you holding all the children you loved on from the orphanage you visited
* you have been around me in this week and now realized I wanted to punch you in the neck
Here is a short list of struggles that comes to mind:
* Biting my lip at the ignorance of a land so rich
* my inability to just relax
* not “fitting in”
* not wanting to “fit in”
* to do something meaningful
* to be someone meaningful
* waking up to the silence of the house I live in now (no roosters, dogs, UN helicopters...etc)
* knowing “what’s next”
* not feeling guilty for every wrong thing that has happened while I have been gone
* feeling crowded
* feeling alone
* enjoying the friends I have missed
* missing the friends I have made
* wanting to punch people in the neck (that’s for you Jeff) for asking STUPID questions
* enjoying a wonderful meal in a restaurant with a bill that is more than most employed Haitians salary in a week and more than most in a month. Those that are lucky enough to be employed.
* realizing that I won the zip code loto when I was born
* realizing I am now responsible for what I have witnessed... I am no longer ignorant to poverty
* just enjoying

Top Questions NOT to ask someone returning from Haiti:
Here are the top questions I have had since my return. If you have a friend who has gone to serve in whatever manner and you want to ask one of these questions.... don’t.

* How is Haiti?
hum..... How do you think it is moron? Really? You do know that there are estimates of up to a million orphans there... right? Honestly dude... all it takes is 10 minutes on google to see how Haiti is. How the heck do I answer that?

* Did you have a blast in Haiti?
The kids beating on my window EVERY day at most every intersection
... blast

* Watching my friends make life and death choices every day while trying to server
... blast

* Talking with teen boys who don’t have parents and have a better understanding of poverty and hopelessness than 99% of Americans (including me), them asking me “We don’t want a hand out, we want hope. What can we do to have a better future?” With my reply “I don’t know”
... blast

* Seeing dead bodies frequently of young people and the lack of value put on them... blast

* Returning an orphan to that was so sick to a place where he will in short order be sick and hungry again cause there was no choice. To have thoughts that this child is better of dead than living..... blast

* Hearing a leader of a church wonder how he is going to spin this (support of an orphanage) to make it look good because if the church “really” knew what was going on, they could not grasp it..... blast

* this list is endless but I think I will stop here

Are you going to Japan now to help?
I only have sadness when I hear this.

How do we fix it?
How does one answer this knowing full well the the person asking the question has a heart to help.... but pretty much zero intentions to hear the answer? Secondly, 90% of the time I am asked this in passing. As in, I am going to give a 30 second answer as to how to fix it. Thirdly, I don’t know.

Man, I can’t wait to hear about your adventure!
Don’t make this statement to someone who went to Haiti... seriously.


Note:
* I have pictures on my FB of children in an orphanage
* I have done the STM poverty vacation tour too
* I have asked these questions before too